Is It 2010, or 1984?

I made the mistake of watching a few minutes of “the news” earlier, and was once again treated to a sampling of what I like to call “ignorance gone to seed”. Long story short, some guy has decided that we as a society eat too much, and eat things that are not healthy for us. So, he has decided that the best way to stop this is to increase the tax on “unhealthy” foods.

I say we erect a statue in his honor.

This man has single-handedly taken on the challenge of saving us from ourselves. How noble! How altruistic! He knows what’s best for you and I!

Well, I have a message for this man, whomever he is: Mind your own business. If you want to eat tofu and bean sprouts, go right ahead. But you do not have the right to tell me what I can and cannot eat (or to artificially inflate the price of a free-market commodity in an attempt to dissuade me from partaking). If I choose to balloon up to 400 lbs., what business is it if yours, anyway? It’s my life. I can make my own decisions, thank you, and your opinion is neither solicited or appreciated.

It seems these days someone is always trying to save us from ourselves. Many of our “elected officials” have decided that no one should be allowed to smoke cigarettes in restaurants and bars. In Virginia, the law took effect last December. A certain politician reputedly referred to the introduction of the law as a “stroke of genius”.

So - just to get this straight in my own head - the decision to tell a bar or restaurant owner, who often puts in 12 - 14 hour days, and has invested his life’s savings into his venture, that he cannot allow his patrons to use a substance which is completely legal in his establishment, is a “stroke of genius”?

No, it’s not a “stroke of genius”; it’s authoritarianism. It’s Big Brother “protecting us from ourselves”.

Many politicians, in pushing smoking bans, have made the point that employees of the establishment have the right to work in a smoke-free environment. And, they do. But, 50% or more of the bars and restaurants in Virginia had already voluntarily gone smoke-free. They came to the determination all by themselves, without any government interference. Without Big Brother making their decisions for them.

Some non-smokers have hailed the move, as they prefer to not be subjected to cigarette smoke while they dine. And I completely understand why they wouldn’t. To those people I ask: what’s going to happen when the same legislators decide you shouldn’t be able to have an alcoholic beverage with your dinner? Or, that you shouldn’t have red meat? Or dessert? Or, anything else that they determine is “bad” for you?

So-called “blue laws” have also been in the news lately. Those are laws which basically say you cannot buy this or that between such-and-such hours on such-and-such days. Some years back, there were places you could not buy gasoline for your car before noon on Sunday’s. Because you were supposed to be in church on Sunday mornings, not out gallivanting around the countryside. Here we have an example of Big Brother keeping your feet on the straight-and-narrow. Can I get an Amen!

The older I get, the more Libertarian I become. The more I appreciate my freedoms, my right to make my own decisions, whether “good” or “bad” in some bureaucrat’s eyes, and the more I long for a government which is truly “of the people, by the people, and for the people”, and not one comprised mostly of millionaire ex-lawyers living in their ivory towers and dictating morality to us.
Finally, if you’ve never read George Orwell’s 1984, I highly recommend it. It’s the story of what happens when a society allows their government to do whatever the government thinks is best; to protect the citizens from themselves.

Doubleplusgood.

Farewell to the Oh-Oh Decade

Well, I’m sure you’ve all heard by now that the Oh-Oh decade is officially over. What’s that you say? The what decade? The Oh-Ohs. As in, two-oh-oh-one, two-oh-oh-two, etc. You know, there were the Eighties, then the Nineties, then the Oh-Ohs.

You can call it whatever you like - I actually heard some chucklehead on one of those New Year’s Eve shows refer to it as the Digital Decade. On second thought, you can call it whatever you like, as long as it’s not the Digital Decade. I will continue to call it the Oh-Ohs, thank you.

So anyway, it’s over, and now we have the obligatory “best” and “worst” lists for the decade. Best movies, worst business decisions, most celebrity mug shots (Nick Nolte, I believe we have a winner).

But those are soooo boring.

So, I’ve come up with the Top Ten Things About the Oh-Oh Decade Which Really Blew Chunks:

10. It was 2007 before anyone could agree on what to call it.
9. The Y2K thing turned out to be a total dud; still trying to unload survival shelter in Long Pond, New Hampshire.
8. Jericho, My Name is Earl, and Growing Up Gotti were all cancelled.
7. 1,681,059 more potholes.
6. Straight-leg jeans went out of style. Twice.
5. Al Gore won a Nobel Prize.
4. No significant upgrade to Zwiggys.
3. U.S. budget deficit became so large that average American can’t tell if it’s in the billions, trillions, gazillions or just a really bad nightmare.
2. Someone learned how to clone lawyers.

And the thing about the Oh-Oh decade which blew the most chunks:

1. Kidz Bop

After Disappointing Season, Daniel Snyder Fires Redskins Fans

Landover, MD - After finishing the season 4-12 and failing to make the playoffs for the eighth time in 11 attempts, Washington Redskin’s owner Dan Snyder has “cleaned house”, firing all of the team’s estimated 1,493,612 fans. Although many NFL analysts predicted the bloodbath weeks ago, the news came as a shock to some. “I knew I shouldn’t have missed that week eleven match-up with the Cowboys”, lamented Connie Abbot of Fairfax, Virginia. “Had I been there, maybe our kicker would have made one of those two missed field goals, and we’d have won”, she said, wiping away a tear. “Of course, it was an away game, and my daughter’s baby shower was that weekend, but still, a true fan makes the sacrifice.”

“I don’t know what I’m going to do”, said Kyle Stafford, a life-long Redskins fan. “I mean, I know it’s my fault. I didn’t cheer myself hoarse at every game. And that one time, I forgot to bring my pig nose”. Then, shaking his head continued, “maybe I’ll become a fan of the Ravens or Steelers. If they’ll have me”, his voice trailing off to a whisper.

The mood was somber at O’Brians Pub down the street from FedEx Field, where several dozen recently fired fans gathered to take whatever solace they could from each other and a pint of Guinness. “Truly, it is a sad day for Redskins fans”, mused “Kitty” Travers, clutching her autographed John Riggins trading card. “What will become of us now?”

While some have suggested that the blame should lie with the coaching staff, the players themselves, or even Snyder’s mercurial nature, general manager Bruce Allen brushed off these opinions. “It’s the fans”, he said in a recent phone conversation. “They didn’t give one hundred percent. Sure, some of them had to take second jobs to pay for their season tickets, but if you can’t buck up and do whatever it takes to win, we can’t use you.”

Snyder could not be reached for comment.