The New Abnormal

In the wake of recent events – the Covid-19 pandemic, widespread social unrest, and an economy which has nose-dived – many have suggested that what we are experiencing is “the new normal”.  As one dictionary defines normal as “conforming to the standard or the common type”, wouldn’t the begged question have to be: What exactly is or isn’t standard and common?  There have been epidemics and pandemics throughout our history; there has been social unrest; our economy has ebbed and flowed with regard to unemployment, productivity, the stock market, etc. 

While there will undoubtedly be changes in our day to day lives going forward (hopefully we can finally do away with the handshake, a germ-sharing practice which originated in the 5th century B.C., and social distancing will become part of our culture to some degree), I wonder how “normal” our lives were before. When one looks at things like the buying power of the middle class (sometimes referred to as the “middle 20%”), which has stair-stepped down since the early 1980s, the undeniable fact is that the rich are getting richer and poor poorer. Over half a million Americans were homeless for at least a portion of 2019. Our government is wracked with corruption and ineptitude. Many of our customs and beliefs are steeped in ignorance and narrowmindedness. And this is normal? 

Whatever the “new normal” becomes, it is my sincere and fervent hope that it includes a generous portion of compassion, and empathy, and fairness, and integrity, and critical thinking. A desire to grasp that our journeys are not the same and our modes of transporting ourselves along this trek vary widely. The ability to connect on a deeper level, and understand that we are much more alike than different. 

The new normal: may it not be like the old.

Drinks With the Girls Doesn’t Warrant Fluffing Favorite Jeans

Warwick, Rhode Island – According to sources, an impromptu after work meet-up with the girlfriends was insufficient justification for tossing her favorite jeans in the dryer for a few minutes to de-wrinkle reported 28 year old human resources manager Bonita Sutherford.

“I mean it’s just Shenanigan’s”, she continued, referring to a local bar she and her neighbors frequented.  “It’s not like I’m going to run into Jason Momoa in there”, she sighed, giving the jeans a quick bullwhip snap and running her fingers through her hair in a half-hearted attempt to convince herself she’d “freshened up some”.

The denim pants, the back pocket of which contained a Starbucks receipt and a hair tie leftover from Sutherford’s last outing, went largely unnoticed during the evening, due mostly to the fact that her friend Janice Jordan’s revealing top garnered the lionesses share of the attention from the men in attendance.

“I would absolutely kill to be able to wear something like that”, the slightly tipsy Sutherford mused.

Sources also reported that a morose Sutherford did not in fact encounter anyone even remotely resembling Jason Momoa over the course of the evening, but did get a wink from bar regular “Flannel Shirt Guy” upon leaving.

America the Distracted

Okay, so I was thinking, there’s this… wait, that’s my phone.  Okay, my team’s up two nothing in the first, good.  But anyway, I was- the door.  Who’s at the door?  Oh no, it’s the Lawn Rangers again.  How many times do you have to shout obscenities in Mandarin out the window before they get the message?  I’ll just duck in here until they’re… Dang, my phone again.  Oh, it’s just a video of a Panda playing a banjo.

Where was I?

Here’s the thing: Is it just me, or have we lost like 75% of our attention span?  I mean, you can’t even have a conversation without the other person donning that faraway gaze two minutes in.  My last attempt went something like this:

Me:  Hey, what’s up?

Them:  Nuthin.

Me:  Nothing huh?

Them:  Yep.

Me:  Really? Nothing at all?

Them:  Have you seen that video of that Panda playing a banjo?

I can’t remember the last time I saw anyone focus on anything for more than a few minutes, unless it was binge-watching the latest flavor-of-the-week Netflix release, or immersed in some video game.  Engage in conversation? Pooh-pooh the thought.  Having a barbeque?  Better collect the phones at the door.  Trying to organize a neighborhood clean-up day at the local park?  Good luck with that.  Unless there’s Wi-Fi.

No, we have – through conditioning, apathy, or some combination of the two – pretty much lost our ability to think about one thing for more than fifteen minutes, twenty tops.  Yet we are captivated by the most trivial, inane, and immaterial of shiny objects; it’s like junk food for the brain. 

A series of tornados tears through the Midwest sucking a few hundred people – and a handful of tractors - up into the vortex, but that’s soon forgotten when some reality show chucklehead tearfully reveals she was forced to eat lima beans as a child.  Life-changing events are occurring all around us, often right on our doorstep, but social media is abuzz over a couple of celebrity’s Twitter feud.

Some have suggested that we’re being manipulated into focusing on some things, to distract us from others.  And, they’re probably right - to some degree.  But, we can only ascribe so much blame to others when we are ultimately responsible for the choices we make in where to invest our time, energy, and emotions.

So, that’s it.  In closing, I’d just like to say- WHOA! A METAPOD JUST SPAWNED LIKE 600 YARDS FROM HERE!  Gotta run!

 

Stay focused out there.

Six Billion Degrees of Separation

Most everyone has heard of Six Degrees of Separation. So had I, but - I couldn't tell you exactly what it was. So I wik'd it. And - I still can't tell you exactly what it is. But I now know that it is or was 1. a play, 2. a Facebook application, and 3. a game of some sort involving actor Kevin Bacon. I still don't get that part of it, but I digress.

Six Degrees of Separation is also a theory which basically postulates that if Person A knows Person B, and Person B knows Person C, and Person C knows Person D, and Person D knows Person E, then Person A must know Person E. (You can substitute colors or General Motors car models for the letters - it works out the same.) Of course like any theory, this one had to be tested. And tested it was. And - is still being tested. Theorists, mathematicians, and psychologists chose up sides to argue either for or against the validity of the theory. And, while interesting enough, the point of the theory is in my opinion, moot.

Growing up in a small city in Southwest Virginia, we had three radio stations: rock, country and what they used to call easy listening (Tony Bennett and Henry Mancini and the like). There were three TV channels. So, at any given time I could usually tell with some degree of certainty what TV show my neighbors were watching, or to what radio station the car going down the street was tuned. There was one newspaper, so everybody got the same slant on everything. And, since it was such a small city, the six degrees theory would absolutely have proven true there; it was probably closer to three or four degrees.

In other words, we were connected by the sameness, the sheer banality of our existence.

But that is not my point.

Today there are thousands of TV and radio stations. There's the internet. There are billions of hexadecimal bits of voice, data, and images pinging off satellites every second of every day. People located on three different continents can engage in a web meeting, each seeing and hearing the other as if they were in the next room. Today, when you take photos of your vacation, you do not have to wait until you're back home and the photos are developed so you can have everyone over to watch "slides". Thanks to cell phone cameras, your friends and co-workers can see them in real-time. As it's happening. Today I could not begin to tell you what TV station my neighbors are watching, or if they're listening to their iPod, or playing online Scrabble with 1,500 other people. Today, there are dozens of social networking sites where people can catch up on every minute detail of what you are thinking, feeling and doing at any moment. They even give you emoticons to communicate your mood, if you don't feel like typing it out.

But that is also not my point.

Several years back I was driving home from somewhere or another. It was late at night and there was nothing much on the radio. I happened upon a person talking about the unequal relationship between society and technology. He noted that society was foolishly embracing technology as some kind of ethereal, benevolent savior. Foolishly because, as he noted, society needs technology, whereas technology does not need society. Technology is decidedly not human, and we of course are 100% human. Technology does not need food, water, or an HMO. It does not care if the power grid on the East coast of the United States goes down, or if a computer virus infects tens of thousands of users. Technology will not shed the first tear if every satellite, receiver, transponder, router and iPhone simultaneously burst into flames. Yet we cling to the belief that technology has somehow brought us - the roughly six billion inhabitants of planet Earth - closer together.

Whereas I believe the exact opposite is true.

It is specifically because we have so many options that we are now more engaged with the technology than we are each other. Because of the aforementioned social networking sites, I know that this or that acquaintance had a "bad day", but often I do not have the opportunity to look into that person's eyes and relate - one human being to another - to their angst. Or that another downloaded a song from their favorite artist, but we will not sit on opposite ends of a sofa and listen, with one or the other (or both) breaking into an air guitar solo.

Don't get me wrong - I think it's great that we have the technology. We can post photos and videos, and send little messages to each other. We can engage in general silliness or send heartfelt best wishes or condolences. But what's missing here is the human touch, and we humans like physical contact. We are a touchy-feely species.

So here we are, the roughly six billion inhabitants of planet Earth, enveloped within a virtual blizzard of electromagnetic waves, but in many ways further apart than at any other time in history. But, there are things we can do. Look up that friend that lives across town and invite them to lunch. Have your parents or in-laws over for dinner. Take a batch of fresh-baked cookies (or a pitcher of margaritas) to that neighbor you occasionally nod to over the backyard fence. Turn off the TV, log off the computer, turn off the cell phone. Get out. Go for a walk, and smile at anyone you may encounter along the way. Go to a park. Give your spouse or child or significant other a hug and a kiss the next time you see them. Tell them what they mean to you. Help a child with their homework, or an elderly neighbor with their yardwork. Do volunteer work at a retirement home, or hospital or hospice. And know that although you are but one of six billion, every day you have an opportunity to enrich other's lives, to connect on a personal level, to become more human.

And then - then you'll know that the number of degrees which separates us has been reduced by one.