Eli Manning Listed as ‘Confused’ for Sunday’s Game

East Rutherford NY – For the first time in NFL history, a player has been slated as questionable for : “Confusion”.



“I knew it was coming”, reported starting center Jon Halapio. “Last week we were breaking huddle and he asks me the snap count.  I’m like you’re the quarterback, make something up”.



“Dude asked me where the clean towels were the other day after practice”, CB DeAndre Baker said, shaking his head slowly.  “I mean dude been playing here since I was in kindergarten and he gonna ask me?”



Coach Shurmer brushed aside questions regarding the unconventional call and Manning’s reaction.  “He’s a big boy.  He knows how it works.  What he can’t seem to grasp is the difference between a  Cover-2 Beater and a Zone-Weak, Bootleg Strong.”



At press time Manning was reportedly sitting dejectedly in the locker room watching a 24 second loop of his two yard touchdown pass to Victor Cruz in Super Bowl XLVI.