Falling Into Fall

I hate to see Summer go. I wail and bellow, and snort and stomp my feet. I cry like a child who’s just discovered Hannah Montana isn’t real. I hate it. In fact, I get so mad at Summer for leaving that I won’t return any of it’s phone calls for weeks.

Then - my eyes swollen and cheeks puffy from alligator tears - I force myself to face the grim reality that it’s over and now it’s time for Fall.

Seriously, Fall? A season so fantastic they named it after something clumsy people do. Why not just call it Nosepick? Or Bunion?

And to hear everyone go on and on about how great Fall is. “Oh the leaves are so pri-teeee. Feel that nip in the air?” Whatever.

So, I’m sucking it up and trying to look on the “bright side”. Of Fall. To come up with a few things about Fall that don’t totally gag me:

10. Football. This year, there will be 16,804 televised football games between Labor Day and January 2^nd. 7,157 of them will feature an announcer using the term “rose to the occasion” far too many times.
9. Air conditioner cuts off a few minutes here and there.
8. “Vomiting” jack-o-lanterns.
7. Crappy Summer replacement shows are replaced by crappy Fall premiere shows.
6. Octoberfest.
5. Grass stops growing like it was on steroids.
4. Line at the Dairy Queen drive-thru isn’t nearly as long.
3. Neighborhood third-graders stop pushing lemonade on every corner.
2. Get to pull that sweater with the patches on the elbows out of storage.
1. Anything looks better when you prop it up next to Winter.

So. That’s it. It’s the best I can do right now, okay? I have to go. Summer’s texted me like five times already today.