U.S.A. Defeats Some Impoverished African Nation at Something

Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso - A sports team from the United States has defeated it’s counterpart from some small, obscure African nation in a competition of some kind by a score of 1 - 0.

Reports vary, but the contest in question was likely soccer, although it could have been rugby, or possibly even lacrosse; no one seems to know for sure. Sources at the scene also reported the game or match or whatever it was had to be called prematurely after two of the Burkinabè players were injured by rampaging wild boar.

Allegedly “somewhere near the middle” of Africa, Burkina Faso was previously know as Upper Volta, or Lower Volta, or possibly even just Volta, and is bordered by several equally obscure nations.

The U.S. team now moves on to it’s next challenge; a Jesuit school for orphans from the Azores.