Man Pretty Sure it’s the Timing Belt

Elkhart IN – Upon hearing his co-worker’s car refused to start that morning, building supply sales associate Ronald Eggleston offered that the problem was most likely the timing belt, a device which synchronizes the rotation of certain parts of an internal combustion engine.   Even after being advised the automobile in question’s engine wouldn’t turn over – symptoms more associated with a dead battery – Eggleston repeated his assertion that the timing belt was the likely culprit.  “I’d at least check it”, he stated stoically. 

“He always says it’s the timing belt” co-worker Matt Henderson chuckled.  “Like when I blew the gasket on my Trans Am sky high a few summers ago.  There was oil shooting out of the carb, and Einstein Eggleston’s like ‘there goes the timing belt’”.

The 38 year old bowler and Civitan club member has reportedly proffered the identical diagnosis on multiple occasions, including the time his neighbor’s F-150 pickup truck’s brake fluid line became clogged.  “You should probably take a look at the timing belt while you’re under the hood”, he stated, nodding knowingly.

 
Sources reported that the well-meaning but clearly fixated man’s obsession with the toothed belt stems from the time the ill-fated device did in fact break on his first car – a Mitsubishi Galant – while out on his first and last date with Kim Reeves, resulting in the pair having to walk nearly three miles to call Eggleston’s older sister to come pick them up, and Reeves refusing to speak to him since.