Tiger Woods “Sorry”

Ponte Vedra Beach, FL - At one of the most anticipated press conferences in years, and before a hand-picked audience, a visibly shaken Tiger Woods inched to the microphone and uttered but one word: “Sorry”, he said, then cleared his throat nervously and stepped backward, his head bowed slightly.

As the attendees were notified well in advance that there would be no questions, there followed several minutes of awkward silence, punctuated only by an occasional nervous cough, or a shifting of an attendee in their seats. The phenom professional golfer and much sought-after pitchman just stood there, hands by his side, staring blankly off to a far corner of the room.

Finally, about 17 minutes into the “press conference”, Mr. Woods again cleared his throat, stepped back to the microphone and added, “very sorry. What I mean is, I’m very sorry for… everything”. He then mumbled something under his breath about Buick being an “old fart’s ride anyway”, glanced at his watch, then launched into a hearty, full-throated rendition of The Way You Look Tonight, before hurriedly exiting the room.