Super Bowl XLV Half-time Show to Feature Intentional Wardrobe Malfunction

Dallas, TX - Citing sagging TV ratings and the looming lockout for the 2011 NFL season, Super Bowl committee spokesman Hal Wimbush announced today that the committee has decided to stage an intentional “wardrobe malfunction” during the half-time show of Super Bowl XLV.

“We’re talking full areola”, Wimbush added with a wink. “Maybe two.”

Fox Network spokesman Biff Shorn defended the committee’s decision. “This is America,” Shorn said, “and in America, we pretty much like breasts.” Shorn admitted Fox Network will have to “bite the pillow” with regards to the fine which the FCC will inevitably impose. “We’ve already crunched the digits” he said, shrugging. “Nips sell. What do you want me to say?”

Not everyone is enamored with the news, however. “To intentionally expose a woman’s breast on national television before an audience of millions for the sake of ratings is an affront to decency and degrading to women everywhere” spat Heidi Huffleman, spokesperson for SVBEAW, or Stop Violence and Breast Exposure Against Women. “My God”, she continued stiffly, “people will be trying to eat during half-time.”

Some will remember the “accidental” split-second wardrobe malfunction from the Super Bowl XXXVIII half-time show, which was the undeniable swan song for Justin Timberlake’s career, but propelled Janet Jackson into a three month resurgence which has long since nose-dived into oblivion. Wimbush vowed this “northern exposure” would last considerably longer. “We’re still tweaking the aperture”, he noted. “Don’t hold me to anything, but it’ll be long enough for everyone to get a good wide-screen, high-definition look.”

A spokesman for NFL commissioner Roger Goodell reported that the commissioner has “made his position crystal clear” on what is already being termed “Milkgate”. Mr. Goodell will have a bird’s-eye view from his luxury skybox, on the fifty yard line.

While Wimbush would not divulge the identity of the woman whose breast will likely become the most downloaded, posted, and snickered over in history, he did rule out Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas, who are to perform prior to the “nip-slip”.

“Wanted too much money”, Wimbush added with a scowl.

Among those rumored to be the “teat treat” are Katy Perry, Vivian Fox, and Rachael Uchitel, although a feverish write-in campaign for Betty White is already in the works.

Wimbush would not comment on rumors of a planned goat sacrifice for the Super Bowl XLVI half-time show.