New Facebook Likes

As I’m sure most of you have heard, the ubiquitous social networking site Facebook has made several “improvements” lately, the bulk of which have caused significant consternation and aggravation among its users.  Every now and then however, they’ll introduce something the users actually want.  Such was the case recently, as Facebook has – inexplicably – introduced new levels of “liking” something:

Classic like: I support, agree with, or otherwise am in concurrence with what you just said.

Marginal like: I pretty much support, agree with, or otherwise am in concurrence with what you just said, but I don’t feel like hashing out the finer points.

Lazy like: I pretty much support, agree with, or otherwise am in concurrence with what you just said, but I didn’t read your entire post.  Or much of it at all.

Back-handed like: I “liked” your post because you said your life is stagnant drivel, or that you are pretty much a failure as a living, breathing organism.

Mindless like: I have no idea what you actually posted, but it got a bunch of likes already, so I’m going to like it too.

Obligatory like:  I have no idea what you actually posted, but I haven’t liked any of your posts lately, and I don’t want you to hate me.

Reciprocal like:  I have no idea what you actually posted, but you liked my last post, so I’m returning the favor.

Ulterior motive like: I have no idea what you actually posted, but your profile pic is cute and I want you to message me.

Most recent post like: I just logged on and there you were.

Guilt like: I haven’t “liked” anyone’s posts in months.

Belated like: Yes, I realize this thread has been dormant for three and a half weeks now.  I had stuff to do, ya know?

Every third post like: Ignore, ignore, like, ignore, ignore, like, etc.

 

Inadvertent like: Whoops! I meant to click the “comment” link.