How Bored Are You?

Stepping into a motel elevator, I witnessed two obviously inebriated gentlemen laughing and "listing a little to starboard". I got the impression they were there for a convention or something; they were wearing cheap suits with name tags and all. Just as the elevator doors were closing, a young women slipped in. "Hey, look", one of the guys blurted, "It's her. She must be following us". His buddy wheeled around. Glancing back over her shoulder, she appeared to recognize the revelers, and chuckling, dead-panned: "I'm not that bored".

Which got me to thinking: exactly how bored would she have to have been to actually have been following them? Which led me to wonder further: how bored are you? At this very moment? Somewhat bored, slightly bored, bored to tears? Well, let's find out. Following are six questions to determine exactly how bored you are. Or, maybe it's only five. Who cares, really?

Finish the sentence: "Right now, I am so bored _____":
1. Not bored at all, thanks. 300 pts.
2. I've had more exciting moments. 150 pts.
3. I'm hoping a telemarketer will call. (minus) 400 pts.

My idea of an exciting weekend would be:
1. Canoeing the rapids on Snake River. 500 pts.
2. Camping in the Smoky Mountains. 75 pts.
3. Watching Matrix Reloaded for the sixth - no, seventh time. (minus) 450 pts.

It's early Saturday evening and your phone rings. You hope it is:
1. An old friend, inviting you out for a night on the town. 275 pts.
2. Any friend, inviting you out for karaoke and mozzarella sticks. 125 pts.
3. A telemarketer. (minus) 900 pts.

You win tickets to a concert for a band you don't particularly care for. You:
1. Don't even bother to go get the tickets. 400 pts.
2. Sell the tickets on eBay. 150 pts.
3. Immediately call everyone you know with the news, dig out your Led Zeppelin tee shirt from storage, and drink two whole wine coolers before the show. (minus) 5000 pts.

The most exciting thing that happened this week was:
1. Business trip to Chicago. 325 pts.
2. Ran into casual acquaintance. Shot some pool and had a few beers. 175 pts.
3. Watched Matrix Reloaded for the seventh - no, eighth time. (minus) 750 pts.

Who would you most like to trade places with for one week?
1. That one guy that does that show where they drop him out of a helicopter on some God-forsaken plot of earth with only a Swiss army knife and some freeze-dried figs. 600 pts.
2. Mark Zuckerberg. 200 pts.
3. Ticket-taker at Comic-Con. (minus) 750 pts.

Scoring:
1500+: Why did you bother to take this quiz?
0 - 1500: No one will ever refer to you as Mr. Excitement, but hey, you got a life.
Less than zero: Quick, check and make sure you have a pulse. You do? Are you sure?